Molson ... go to hell!

Some pointless information about me.

Sad to say it, but I'll no longer be drinking my favourite readily available beer. Bye Rickard's Red (made by Molson) ... nice drinking you, but you're represented and advertised by people who make me ill, so your sweet taste is now bitter and disgusting to me.

Why this bitter back turning?

A new ad from Molson to shill this fine beer, a shilling done by adding new and stupid words to the opening (O Fortuna) of Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. This is just shy of old Ontario-market milk ads using the "ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony with new words. It's all cheap, it's all unimaginative, it's all annoying, and I'm not going to encourage this cheap means of getting music for crappy advertisements by giving money to companies that thieve works from good composers. (Using re-worded pop music is just as bad, but pop music is just loathsome panacea for the masses anyways, so I won't waste my precious rage on those advertisers .... like ONTARIO PLACE. "Kids wanna have fun ..." Somebody should be thrashed for that peurile knockoff of a crappy Cyndi Lauper song.)

You know, if you're going to shill a product using music at least have the decency to HIRE A LIVING COMPOSER. And hey, MOLSON ... don't say you can't afford it. You've got the money to sponsor the Indy in Toronto (which wastes my time with road closures and other irritations to boot), so you can BLOODY WELL PAY SOMEONE WHO'S ALIVE TO WRITE IF YOU NEED MUSIC, you pathetic parasites (what is the source of the stupid line of thought that will lead these idiots to pay performers to mangle old works and not pay someone to write something new anyway? Is it that people were born dumb, that they grew up to be ignorant, or a putrescent mix of the two reasons?) Don't let your marketers off the hook creatively by giving them the go-ahead to steal something that already exists. Require them to at least hire someone with more imagination than that.

I'm sure some people out there will try and justify this horrific, cheap, mindless, void-of-thought approach to acquiring music for the purposes of lyin .... advertising. I can think of a couple of (egregious) justifications for this, and they're not justifications, they are 100% fertilizer grade animal feces. Here they are, and here I go!

Setting new words to an existing piece is imaginative, you say? NO ... it's not particualrly so. It's the work of a cheap imagination. It's the work of stupid marketers pretending they have scads of imagination by ripping off the work of their betters. Scads of imagination ... these type of people are the SCABS of imagination, crossing the picket line of real creation and coating it with excrement as they pass it by, their corporate masters turning hoses on the creative people on the picket lines, spewing them with the acidic bile extracted from a billion advertisers' bellies. Really imaginative people may find a way to change lyrics to make a statement, to amuse, to satirize: that is, to use a work in a new way as part of some personalized statement on how they see what they are working with ... but merely to merely change something to sell a product is not imaginative. It's theft. Period.



But ... people will become interested in the actual work, one might say, and explore it further. I say ... leave the work obscure instead of disinterring its corpse and raping it savagely. If your desire is to make a work known, you won't want to debase it in the process unless you are a stupid, steaming pile of foetid carrion. If you're going to debase a work, just come out and flat out say ... "Here's Orff's corpse ... and here is me violating it with a BIG DILDO COATED IN ACID." At least you'd be honest. And do the work a favour ... the work doesn't want the stench of the vile ectoplasm that was rubbed off on the advertisees sticking around, the accumulated waft of funk devaluing the original work and driving off true afficionadoes.

I sure hope Molson is paying Orff's estate for this travesty ... he should still be under copyright. If they're not, I sure hope someone gets sued.

Oh yeah .... side note to Molson ... your non-Rickard's beer is swill. Fix it.

And ... stop pissing me off or I'll write more Molson pages.

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